So if you follow my updates on Facebook, you read last night that my weekend was one for the history books. It certainly was…
And I wanted to tell you, I really did… but you know how you hash, rehash, and then keep hashing the same story over and over until you’re absolutely sick to death of it? Yep, that is where I am.
Plus, I was knee-deep in the throes of the weekend drama, so you can imagine that I’m more than a tad exhausted.
So I am going to spare you the details, only because I cannot muster the strength to hash it out again. Maybe down the line I will step away from it all, feel rejuvinated and be able to attack it. Until then, you’ll just have to wait.
Don’t worry, there’s not much chance I’ll forget what happened.
Just remind me to tell you the story about the hand cream and soap that turned the world on its ear at the Four Seasons and I’ll remember. Trust me. Unforgettable. Ridiculous. And yes, very real.
I’m telling you something: that Law of Attraction stuff is real. I am living proof. The absolutely-weirdest-mind blowing-and ridiculous stuff happens to me. Follows me around. It is almost as if I have this traveling circus nipping at my heels. Always there, and if not in complete sight, always right around the corner…
It is cold and rainy, wet and unattractive outside. I feel so down when it is like this. It feels hard to excited about anything and I certainly don’t feel very active. A hot cup of coffee, a warm comforter, and an afternoon movie are about the only things that perk my interest when the weather is like this.
Anyone that thinks the Season Affective Disorder is for the birds needs to only look to me as proof that yes, it does exist.
I need some sunshine.
Sorry that my post is short and sweet, I am going to sign off the computer early today and get some other things in order. I will be back with vengeance tomorrow!
Everything with me is such a ‘work in progress’. I never feel like I’m achieving what I set out to do. I guess I should be contented in the fact that, like with everything, it is not about the destination, but the journey along the way.
I know I’m being vague, but it is by design. I am seriously ‘working’ and a million things. One of the most important ones is my attempt at seeing all views, not just my own. I don’t want to have tunnel vision anymore. I don’t think that I am right about everything, even though I’m often the loudest, squeakiest wheel. Just because I am vocal about my opinions does not and should not mean that I have everything figured out. Because I don’t. But, I think sometimes I lose sight of the fact that there is, indeed, “more than one way to skin a cat”.
Going way back to when I moved to Venezuela, I remember getting married and moving to my husband’s hometown, and initially having a superior view of myself as an American in comparison to my new peers. Of course, this was due in part to the fact that I was in my mid-20s and still had not gleaned any wisdom about my true place in the world, and I still wouldn’t for about another five years (the beauty of the 30s, at least I believe, is that you begin to realize that you don’t know a damned thing about anything and you become a much better student of Life)…my haughty attitude during my twenties and living abroad kept surfacing when I would find faults with the inefficiencies in commerce and disorganization in scheduling (or lack thereof) and even in silly things like having fewer choices in the grocery stores, or unpolished produce and fruit in the markets!
For a long time then, I felt completely alone. Isolated and stewing with disgruntlement because I was comparing myself to someone completely different. The average Venezuelan was nothing like me. No, indeed, they were my polar opposite… they were happy go lucky, charismatic, warm and loving people more concerned with relationships and laughs than with progress and schedules.
Perhaps we were on two polar extremes and both were bad, its true. The latin customs are more lax than the rigidity of American life. But they are also more familial, they enjoy their lives more, they have a zest for life. They work less, and party more! Maybe sometimes too much-
But, maybe we worry too much about timeliness, efficiency, and things that we just can’t control. Maybe we should loosen our collars just a tad, and actually enjoy our days more? Laugh more, take more time off from work and spend more with our whole families and friends.
Perhaps there is somewhere in the middle where both cultures would do vastly better. Makes me think of a quote that a friend recently posted on my blog:
“Out beyond the idea of right doing and wrong doing, there is a field, I’ll meet you there.” Rumi
After my first year in Venezuela, I started seeing the error of my ways. Well, of my thoughts, at least. I didn’t have it all figured out. Being American, and living my American way was neither superior, nor easier. In fact, I seemed to be the only person miserable! I realized then that I had been seeing everything in my new life through a narrow tunnel. I wasn’t open and accepting of other people and other ways of doing things. Of course, there are always several ways to arrive at the same conclusion or outcome. If you arrive at your destination, does it really matter how you got there?
Well, yes, it does. It matters to you, because you are going to carry your experiences along with you. You, and no one else. I don’t even know if I’m explaining this at all, in some ways, I feel like I am talking in a circle, but what I am trying to say is this:
I realized long ago that it is very easy for me, and probably others, to develop a very slanted view of all things without opening our minds and realizing that we are all different, and that there will be more than one ‘right way’ to do things. When you are trapped in your own vision of the world, the only person being slighted is you! The world keeps turning, people keep right on doing whatever they are going to do, and we’re all in the pursuit of happiness.
So, back in my late twenties, I gave myself this advice: Let it go. Open your mind, open your heart. Admit you know nothing. Keep your mouth shut, and you might learn something. Consider everything. All is possible…
And I find myself needing to be reminded of those things again. I have been very narrow in my views lately, very opinionated. And I shouldn’t be…because ultimately, it is hurting me. Hindering me. Holding me back from all that I could be…
And want to be…
So I am working on being more accepting. More amicable. More easygoing. Less rigid. Less opinionated.
I am laughing more and crying less.
I am trying to be a ‘Yes Man’… (this is a reference to Jim Carrey’s movie “Yes Man”, which was really good and got me thinking)
When I disagree, I am biting my tongue and smiling instead. Sometimes silence can be golden. I need to remember that.
I am trying to let go of the mantra, “My Way or the Highway”.
I guess the bottom line is that I am trying to be more forgiving, more understanding, more accepting.
And I have a feeling that by trying to be more forgiving, understanding and accepting of others, I will become more forgiving, understanding, and accepting of myself as well…
“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations. Acceptance is the key to everything.”
Michael J. Fox
So Tammy, please email me at caseyatcaseyroondotcom and tell me where to send your super-duper new iTunes card!
Thank you to everyone that participated. I loved that the majority of you left quotes that really got me thinking. I particularly loved Debbie’s comment, a quote from Michael J. Fox:
“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations. Acceptance is the key to everything.”
Wow. Say that over and over to yourself a few times and really let it sink in. Very true and very insightful. Thank you Debbie for sharing that with me- I loved it.
Thank you so much for participating. Hope you had fun, I sure did. It is my pleasure to pass along little giveaways here and there and to say “thank you” for reading my silly blog. You can’t know how much your compliments and kind words about my writing touch my heart!
Scroll down to the Comments and leave me a comment.
A LEGITIMATE COMMENT (no spam)
preferably something flowery and nice… I like poems! (hint, hint) Your comment must be at least one sentence in length to count as an actual entry. And… any profane comments will be automatically deleted and
will not count.
That should go without saying!
THAT IS IT!
***
I will close comments tomorrow, Feb. 3 at 12:30pm CST. Then, I will go to www.random.org and plug in all of the comments and the progam will spit out a randomly generated number,
otherwise known as the WINNER!
(example: if there are 500 comments and I input numbers 1-500 and the random program says: 412, then the 412th posted comment will WIN!)
Understand?
Okay, good.
Now for the good stuff.
***
WHAT DO YOU WIN?
a $15 gift card to iTunes!
Yippee!!
okay, so if you don’t have an iPod or an iPhone, surely someone you know and love DOES!
So enter and maybe you’ll win…
and maybe you can put a smile on a loved ones face
with a free $15 iTunes card!
***
Here are all of the particulars:
Contest is open to anyone who wants to win a free $15 iTunes card!
The contest is easy. Just comment here on the actual blog (this means that you cannot leave a comment on Facebook or anywhere else. You must comment from the www.caseyroon.com website only) Once you leave your comment, you’re entered! (feed readers will have to physically go to the blog’s web page to comment I think) www.caseyroon.com
The contest will run for only 24 hours. Contest ends tomorrow, Feb. 3 at 12:30pm CST!
The winner will randomly be selected using www.random.org and will be announced tomorrow afternoon.
If you’re the winner, please email me by Friday, Feb. 5 at 12:30pm CST to claim your card! (my email address is caseyatcaseyroondotcom)If you don’t email, I can’t give it to you!
You can enter as many times as you wish!
GOOD LUCK!
*Disclaimer: I hate that I feel like I have to put this out there, but I have to… this is my silly little contest to interact with my readership. I reserve the right to change or eliminate this contest at any time. Please do not screw up the fun for the rest of us and ruin the contest by doing something silly. My rights are reserved. It’s my contest for goodness sake! -CR
Home from work and I’m miserable. Somehow I was able to get through the whole day without my nose dripping too much, though I did fall into a coughing fit on the van trip to Houston this morning.
Went with my colleagues to a museum meeting in Houston. The theme of the talk today was about social marketing, you know, Facebook and Twitter? Most of the info presented was stuff I already knew, but it was great to have someone who makes his living doing this, reaffirm my convictions on so much. I gleaned a little unknown information from the talk, too, so it wasn’t all ‘been there- done that’, so to speak. Interesting and informative…
And lunch at Lankford’s was great although my stomach is probably going to have a different side of the story! WOWZA! That hot sauce from the video (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you need to scroll down and watch the video from yesterday’s post) is HOT!!!!
So now I’m home. The two D’s are somewhere out in the wild gray yonder, and I’m home in the quiet house alone. Which I have decided I don’t like. Well, for the time being. Being a creature that is never satisfied, of course that means that I want quiet time when I cannot have it, and vice versa. So it is quiet and serene and I am wondering when they’ll come home and liven up this joint!!
Oh yes, by the way. I did call it the ‘wild gray yonder’ because, well- it’s gray outside. Gray, gloomy, humid, and cold. Not fun.
And my nose is running.
And my eyes are watering.
And I keep coughing.
…
Did you watch the Grammy’s last night? We saw our buddy Juanes presenting, did you see him? Have you read my post from last month when he visited us here at the ranch? Yep, that was him. Other highlights from the Grammy Awards included Lady Gaga’s strange ensemble that looked like a aluminum foil paper maiche torpedo, and the return of Eminem. Ha- bet you didn’t know that I am an Eminem fan, did you? MICHIGAN, baby!
No, but seriously… why couldn’t Lil’ Wayne get a lil’bit smaller pants and KEEP THEM AROUND HIS WAIST? Yes son, that is why they produce belts…. geez, I could not stop thinking about the wildly popular “Pants on the Ground” guy from American Idol. Ridiculous. I would love to be able to understand the minds of these young people who think that it is somehow attractive to wear your pants UNDER your derriere. Don’t you know that you look absolutely ridiculous and that people will lose any respect they might have had for you by seeing your disheveled appearance? And to think you TRIED to look that bad!
I am reading Maya Angelou’s latest book: Letter to My Daughter. It is very, very interesting. On page 38, Ms. Angelou talks about the speaking the truth and says: “Let us bravely say to our young women, “That raggedy hairstyle may be trendy, but it is also unattractive. It is not doing anything for you”. And let us say to our young men, “Your shirt-tails hanging out from under your jacket does not make you look cool, it just makes you look unkempt and uncared for”. Taking a cue from Ms. Maya Angelou, let me tell Lil’ Wayne something truthful: your pants hanging under your butt, showing the world your boxers on national television is not attractive. It is not cool. You look unkempt, uncared for, and extremely foolish.
Phew! I have been keeping that pent up all day and I feel decidedly better after having got it off of my chest.
(breathing a heavy sigh of relief)
…
Now, I see that we have hit the 100 mark when it comes to Facebook Fans. Yippee! I will honor my promise with a GIVEAWAY!!!! Yes!!! Since we hit the 100 mark today, then today I will plan the giveaway and post it asap. You’ll just have to check back often to get all the details. In the meantime, have a great night!
I just thought I would run down the list today of random things I wanted to catch you up on. No particular order, just thoughts that I’ve had bouncing around or little tidbits that didn’t fit in with any other lengthy post.
First of all, I have started (slowly) to move old posts from my old blogger site into this Wordpress site. You will find them only if you type the year into the Search box up in the top right of the page (see it? It says ‘Lookin’ for something?’)… I have zillions of posts (2 years worth) to bring over to this site, and it is time consuming, so bear with me… here is one from way back in 2007 worth reading…
Also, the latest update on the state of my head cold is this: I am miserable. My head hurts, my nose is painfully congested, but nothing wants to move out. Every so often, I break out into a coughing spasm that is not fun because my lower back hurts and my hip pops out of socket (old volleyball injury). Not to mention the residual effects that affect all women who pass a chicken through their vagina… yep, the possibility of peeing my pants! No, this actually doesn’t happen, but each and every time I break out into a coughing fit, I panic that it will!
I watched Bridget Jones’ Diary yesterday afternoon and marveled at how much I love that movie. That is saying a whole lot for the movie because Renee Zellwegger is not one of my favorite actresses (and that is being nice), but I absolutely love the movie. I run around for about a week after seeing the movie infusing the word ‘wanker’ or ‘bollocks’ into conversation whenever possible. And each time I see the movie, I howl with laughter when Bridget takes off in a snowstorm wearing only her knickers, running shoes, and a sweater to catch Mark Darcy, who has just popped in to a store to buy her a new diary. The scene reminds me so much of an incident my freshman year of college when I popped out of our dorm room wearing only my pink babydoll jammies to run down a football player bound for the Pub, who thought I had said something rude about him (I hadn’t).
*Did you notice in that paragraph how I used the words ‘knickers’ and ‘popped into’, much in the English way? Residual effects of having watched the movie yesterday, for sure…
It is going to take some decided willpower to retrain my family members that I am trying to eat a more healthy diet. Yesterday, I was having a conversation with my husband about how I am trying to eat better, drink better, and just be more healthy (trying to trick myself into NOT dieting, as I believe the word ‘dieting’ implies that at some point I will stop and fall off the wagon, and thereby sabotage any good I have done previously) when all of the sudden, he told me that we were going to a friend’s house for dinner and that I would feel decidedly better about my headcold and aches and pains if I just had a few glasses of wine.
Hello? I guess he wasn’t listening to my side of our conversation!
No, I am not drinking a few glasses of wine. I am drinking water! Gosh, it is going to be a rough road if I have to constantly remind not only myself, but my family that I am trying to be healthier. In the past, it has been incredibly hard for me to remember that I am trying to eat/drink more healthy. Shoot, I will be halfway through a doughnut, eating it mindlessly at work before I ever even realize that I have eaten it! I have to be more conscious, more alert, and more diligent. And apparently, my husband forgets as easily as I do that I am trying to be healthier! Goodness!
Looking forward to the week ahead, I have a meeting tomorrow all day in Houston. Since it is my old stomping grounds, I have been asked by my boss to pick the lunch destination, something that everyone would like and that is nearby the museum where we are meeting. I chose Lankford’s Grocery. Of course, tomorrow I will have to put in extra time on the cardio because I plan to enjoy my lunch!! Watch the video and drool yourself. Lankford’s was featured on the Food Network’s popular show: Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives with Guy Fieri.
Then, looking forward to the weekend, we are planning a little excursion to Green Valley Ranch to see the sire of our sweet and promising foal, Wimpy. His famous Daddy, Wimpys Little Step, is a phenomenal horse. We will tour the facility, see the sire, and talk horses awhile. Anyone that is in the horse world knows that ‘talking horses’ always lasts more than ‘awhile’! Looking forward to a break in the action here and a weekend ‘beyond the fences’. Keeping my fingers crossed for good weather and picturesque moments. Will be hauling along my arsenal of cameras, maybe even my monopod, to capture everything and anything! Look for many photo posts coming next week…
And I’m happy to report that the blog’s page on Facebook just keeps on growing. As of this morning, we have 97 people following! I am blown away by the growing numbers from this list and am seeing the readership numbers zoom in my Google Analytics on the blog. Readership is up almost 50% since last month. My cup runneth over! If you are on Facebook and you haven’t joined the blog’s page, I invite you to do so. It is an easy way to receive a link to the daily blog post, and to interact with one another. The blog’s page has a wall that you can post on, a Discussions tab that you can start your own forums, as well as the ability to upload photos and videos too! Thanks to Julie, one of my faithful readers, that posted her own rum cake for all to see!
I have decided to start doing Giveaways in celebration of big milestones. Each time the Facebook page reaches a monumental number of readers, I will do a Giveaway (looks like 100 Reader Giveaway is coming up soon!); I think I will also do some Giveaways to celebrate any-and-all achievements in my quest to lose 20 pounds… if you aren’t keeping up with my weight loss quest, I am planning on dedicating each Friday post to my fitness and weightloss goals...
And like always, I love hearing from you. Whether it is in the Comments section of each blog post, or as a comment on the Wall of the Facebook page, I love your feedback. Thank you for jotting down your thoughts on my posts, because it really warms my heart to hear from you. With readers spanning the globe, it is just the neatest feeling to know that I am writing about things that appeal to readers from Germany to Australia and everywhere in between. Thank you for your feedback and your comments! If you ever wonder where the readers are coming from, I invite you to watch the Live Traffic Feed that shows up on the right margin of the blog, underneath the B-who-U-R blue box… this live traffic feed shows you that we are a growing community, pulling readers from Singapore to Idaho! How cool is that???
Very cool.
But maybe I am more than a little biased????
Hey- have a great end to your weekend and please keep reading. I have not even begun to chip away at the mammoth iceberg of things that I have planned for the blog. Please be patient- the best is yet to be!
Blissful Saturday morning. Except that I woke up at 6:00am and I woke up with a terrible head cold. Seems as if my son has ever-so-generously passed it along to good ol’ Mom. I am miserable.
I made myself a bed on the couch and went back to bed, while he watched his beloved Phineas & Ferb cartoons and attempted to wash dishes to help me out. What a sweetie. When I got to the kitchen to check on his progress however, I found that he had only washed 3 spoons. Hardly what I would call ‘washing dishes’, but better than nothing, I suppose.
So I am hacking and sneezing, and violently blowing my nose ever few moments. I am officially miserable.
This is the second time this winter that I have had a cold. These germs are strong suckers, I tell you. I don’t usually get sick often, and with the strong line of defense I maintain with all of my vitamins, it is surprising. But, here in Texas, we have suffered with one of the coldest and wettest winters on record and consequently, lots and lots of people are sick.
I am a big believer in the power of sunshine. I believe that we really need the weather to turn around and the sun to come out. Warm things up a little and bake the germs to smithereens. Yes, that is a technical term. Baking the germs to smithereeens might not sound very scientific, but I have always seen a direct correlation between sickness and being cooped up inside the house day after day. The vitamin D from the sun and its ability to dry things out have helped me personally over the years.
Sun, Sun…. where are you, Sun?
Come out!
In the meantime, I guess I will continue to walk around with random Kleeenexs sticking out of my nose to stop-up my overflowing faucet of snot, and wait for spring.
Somewhere underneath all of the stored up doughnuts and chocolate that I have injested, the Coca Cola I’ve guzzled and the greasy pizzas I’ve consumed, there is a thin marathon runner screaming to be let out of her self-imposed prison.
I have always known she is there, but I have kept her stifled under years and years of rich, fatty calories, a mountain of self- doubt, and a fair amount of plain laziness.
I think the time is now to start chipping away at the fortress that keeps her in exile.
The fortress is at least 20lbs and maybe even 30 lbs of poundage that I’ve been carrying around for the better part of the past 7 years. I have allowed myself to turn a blind’s eye to the scale’s growing numbers and I’ve cleverly learned how to edit, edit, edit when it comes to photographs. I’ve conveniently let myself indulge when I want and have almost convinced myself that I’m a ‘big-boned’ girl and that I can carry (and hide) extra weight.
But really… who am I kidding?
On Wednesday when I stayed home with the kiddo, he swiped my camera and took some pictures around the house. As I was reviewing them, I stopped on an image of me that he had snuck in while I was enraptured in an episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians (yeh, I know… don’t tell me, it is ridiculous but I am hooked). On the sofa, where I should have been sitting, was a greasy-haired, overweight, thick-necked woman smirking at the television.
At closer inspection, the woman was me.
And I was (am) mortified.
Horrified.
Mortified and horrified by my appearance. It was a candid shot that represented the entire room exactly as it was, so it wasn’t as if the angles were distorting. The fact that the person was distorted in the photograph was no fault of the camera.
Only the fault of the woman.
Me.
Now, I don’t want to hear from anyone that “you’re silly, you’re not fat” or that “you’re great the way you are”… yadda yadda… I am not happy with myself. And if I am not confident and happy with myself, then that kind of has a snowball effect on everything else I do too, right? Of course that’s right.
I’m a person that absolutely hates to run, but it is one thing that seems to melt the weight off. I am going to try substituting elliptical training work for running since my knee and varicose veins could really do without the pounding of running. I will hop on my elliptical for 15 minutes in the mornings when I can, or in the evenings as I watch my shows….
I am walking daily at work with a co-worker, putting in at least 1 mile at a time, and even though that isn’t much, it is better than just sitting at my desk and wishing I was skinnier.
I am also going to start working out at the gym. After work, I will take some time for me and dedicate at least one hour per afternoon to Me, Myself, and I. I think I deserve an hour, don’t you? This idea was actually my husband’s, and I was absolutely flabbergasted when he suggested it. He said, “go to the gym and work out without all of the distractions of home… at the gym, I can’t call you to ask you for a favor and you’re not pulled in a million directions. Go take the time you need for you and you’ll feel better about everything”.
Hmph.
I think he’s on to something. I will go each afternoon and do something, whether it is to lift, do cardio, but I’ll for sure sweat it out… I might even hire a trainer to keep me honest. I need my very own Jillian Michaels as I have always responded well to the whole ‘drill sargeant’ approach… maybe that is exactly what I need.
And I also need a goal.
Twenty lbs is Goal #1.
Keep up with my progress as I post each Friday regarding my Weight Loss Goal #1. I invite you to keep me honest and keep me motivated by leaving me comments here, on the Facebook Fan Page, and on Twitter!
I have no apologies for my crabby attitude, my aching back, or the throbbing headache that has kept creeping into my days and nights in the past week…
I know you think that I always seem to be in a foul mood, or that my back is always aching or that I have chronic headaches. I know that you have started doubting my story, thinking that somehow I am trying to get out of whatever plans I am bowing out of. Or that I have the lowest pain tolerance of any human alive… or that I must be dying because no other person has as many headaches/cramps/irritable days as me…
But let me tell you something:
You’re not very observant.
Every single 28 days this happens. Why? Because I am a woman. Hear me roar. Yes, I am roaring because I have to deal with the side effects of a reproductive cycle that could care less if I’m comfortable with it or not, it is just doing its job in my body.
And my body knows this. My mind knows this. I have made peace with the fact that I am going to become a raving lunatic each and every month and I embrace it.
Because I have no other choice.
And neither do you.
Let me tell you something… being a woman is no easy task. We are emotional, we are detail-oriented, we are nurturers by nature, and caregivers to all. We are selfless mothers, doting wives, and suffering vessels.
Yes, suffering vessels.
I’m sure you read my post yesterday about passing a chicken through my vagina. Childbirth is no joke. Now, let me tell you something else: each and every month, a woman’s body goes through the same motions, but without a baby on board. The contractions aren’t as fierce, but there are cramps. Bad ones. There are hormone surges. Bad ones. There are all sorts of things going on inside a woman’s body each month that a woman can somewhat temper, but not completely paralyze, no matter how hard she tries.
So, when you think I’m being bitchy?
I am.
I own it, and I’m not going to apologize for it because I am suffering right along with you, and believe me, you have the easy end of the bargain.
Now hand me a hand full of Midol and leave me the heck alone!
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